Tall Women Short Men Talk

Not so long ago the short-man-tall-woman joke was an old standby in a comedian's bag, with the tall woman usually coming out on the short end. Tall women have been funny and freakish to everyone but themselves. To be born tall and female, even if you were otherwise healthy, sane, talented, beautiful, and intelligent, has been socially comparable to being born with multicolor skin or three legs •and tentacles for arms. (Not to mention the difficulty of finding clothes to fit and often paying higher prices for them.) There isn't a tall woman alive who hasn't had ice water thrown on her via the left-handed compliment, "Gee, you've really been able to overcome the handicap of your height. At the core of the misery of many tall women, usually defined as over 5 feet 7 inches, was a strict social ideal regarding sexual pairings. A couple who dared to marry outside the "normal" male-female proportions (the female being shorter even when wearing 3-inch heels) often had to be as strong as if their marriage had crossed racial, religious, social caste, or cultural lines. They often suffered teasing, taunting, snickering, and behind-the-back but .not out-of-cars hot jokes. WHY SHOULD a woman be swatter than her mate? Does a woman who is taller than her husband give the impression she is dominating the relation- ; ship? "Yes," says Dr. Morris Skalansky, faculty member at the Institute for Psychoanalysis in Chicago. "The issue of height differences is kind of traditional and is important to adolescents and immature people. The culture has’ continued to contribute to the notion women are submissive and dependent on the more physically powerful male. A child is dependent on the larger parent, and this continues into the heterosexual relationship. "In a more mature relationship between people who have gone through this adolescent thing, it becomes unimportant who's taller. It would indicate very shallow values if height kept people apart. It's more important what the persons involved feel for each other." Dr. Marion Toplin, psychoanalyst and faculty member at the -institute, says one must be cautious before declaring height taboos tend to be less important today. "The 5-foot-ll-inch girl in high school still is biting her nails about who is going to ask her to dance." But, she adds, height traditions are gradually breaking down. Many relationships, she says, are based on the idea that the father is big, and the child looks up to him; the woman also looks up to her husband in a father role. "Growing up doesn't free one from childhood choices. It's another choice. A friend or peer relationship can become as significant as a father relationship. It's a problem that goes both ways. A short man has a lot of problems, too." Many short men have what .analysts term a "Napoleon complex." They stand ramrod straight, thrive on ordering about six-footers and become doers of great deeds in order to compensate for their lack of height. Tall women, however, often have an "Amazon complex." They slouch and slump, and try to keen a low profile psychologically, under compensating by withdrawing and trying not to call attention to themselves; YET, BECAUSE more and more people are tall, thing are beginning to change. A lot of tall women these days have a high profile. Lola Rcdford, wife of one of the world's most handsome men, Robert Redford, and a consumer activist, is about 5 feet 9 inches, almost as tall as he. Angela Lansbury, two-time Tony winner, singer, actress, dancer, is a tall, handsome, well-endowed woman. Feminist Germaine of England is just under G feet. Marisa Berenson, called by some "the most beautiful woman in the world," is about 5 feet 10 inches. What's more, the short man, tall woman marriage is occurring in the highest social circles and nobody is laughing. The most prominent pairing of this sort at the moment is the Kissingers. Nancy Maginnes Kissinger, who must be more than 6 feet in heels, married one of the world's most eligible males, Henry Kissinger, United States secretary of state, who appears to be several inches shorter than she, but she stands tall on his intellectual prowess and clout. The New York fashion newspaper, Women's Wear Daily, which can be very snotty and acknowledges only hard-core chic, calls her "The Highest. Read a bit of snideness into that if you want to, but they give her rave reviews at every fashion gathering. She is on the international best-dresses list and Susan Mary Alsop, one of her best friends, says, "She's bringing style to Washington in what is not a brilliant moment." That kind of press for a tall woman gives hope to many a gawky, tall adolescent.

Superbrain Arthur Schlesinger, another Washington well-known, is much shorter than wife Alexandra. Dustin Hoffman's lovely wife, Anne, surpasses him in height. Actress and sex symbol Sophia Loren, at about 5 feet 10 inches, towers over husband Carlo Ponti. That's fine, you say, for movie stars and politicians, who are always doing extraordinary things anyway? Possible they are out front ignoring height taboos, but regarding masses, one immediately obvious fact is that fall women no longer slouch around in flat shoes. A tall woman in her 30s feels that women s liberation has changed men's attitudes about tall women. It's given them a second thought...Young men today aren't as uptight (about dating tall women) as they were when I was going to high school. I've been 6 feet tall since I was in 8th grade. (She is 6 feet 2 inches to 6 feet 3 inches in high heels.) So I'm rather used to me," she says. She's learned that tall can be terrific, "in business I find that being tall is very good because you create a presence. Short people have to do things to be noticed." She doesn't recommend choosing height either. "If you eliminate everyone under 6 feet, just imagine all the wonderful men you're eliminating." When I mentioned that I could not find any clubs for tall girls or tall people, one woman said, "That's wonderful! I think that's a sign we're maturing as a human race. 1 though it was the most repugnant idea I'd ever heard. They were trying to make freaks of us. Just because two people are tall doesn't mean they should have anything in common any more than two people who are short have a lot in common."

By MAUV DANIELS
Knight News Service
Independent
April 6th, 1976

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